PT and Thoughts

And because I must have some deep need to get myself into trouble here today… (plus a little free time to myself)

Kalila has been doing really well with potty training. Its been over a month now I think since she’s worn a diaper. Unless you count her accident at B&N when that was all we had left, put it on her just until we got home and got her out of it asap. Its been a very long time either way.

She has had accidents though. Most are not peeing in her pants… but today… Today was an exception with that.  She’s done it twice already. So frusterated.

Which brings to mind the other subject here… We seriously need (and yes I said we… I’m just as bad about it if not worse) to be more patient with this child.  Not just talking about w/ PT but in general. There’s a big area around this (patience levels, handling her behaviour, discipline, etc) that I don’t really fall into line w/ AP and I want to now. I’ve tried the other way… and I’ve seen how badly Kalila is doing with it. I see her feeding off of us and its getting to the point its just bad.

On the other hand, we have our moments… Like the other day when she made this huge mess. I was royally pissed off about something that happened not related to her and she picked right then to walk into the hallway w/ a glass of chocolate milk and dump it all over the floor and wall.  Imagine how fun that is to clean up :-/   Anyways… for some reason things clicked and instead of yelling  I managed to handle it… even when she decided to throw a huge fit about having to take a bath. I got her calmed down way faster than she normally does when she throws one… it was great.  Now, I’m not going to assume trying the same method again will work as well.. I’ve learned my lesson with jumping the gun and thinking since something worked one or two (or three or four) times that it will again. But still… Huge difference.  I need to be working on this.

I found an article on Mothering Magazine that I really liked awhile back about calming down and stuff but I can’t seem to find it now lol. I really need to go back and look for that. Got it, its called Learning Patient Parenting. I really think I need to reread this…


11 thoughts on “PT and Thoughts

  1. Ami says:

    I know the feeling. Shiana only wears a diaper at night, but during the day she is strictly in panties. Pee accidents are few and far between but she has days where she has one or two. We have of the other type accident, very frustrating. But I am letting her go at her pace on learn to go in the potty. I have thought about figuring a different way to parent, I get frustrated very quickly and then she also feeds off that. And she yells and screams and it is just not a pretty site. Especially if we are out in public.

  2. deltaflute says:

    This is just personal experience talking here. I know that I’ve said this but I’ve potty trained a lot of kids at daycare. 1.5 years of potty training to be exact. Yeah, not a lot of years, but I didn’t work with two year olds that long. They also grow up fast. regression is totally normal. Some kids just automatically take to potty training like the article said. But some kids have emotional attachments to the diaper. And still others are frightened by the whole thing and feel overwhelmingly pushed into it. New things are always scary.

    I had one parent remove his child because the little boy was potty trained around the end of age one into the beginning of age two and then regressed. When he was 2 1/2 his little world became harder. His grandma had to leave to get work (economy had crashed hard). His father was seeing someone and was smoking pot. Plus Dad was always on the phone. Not only did he come in talking on the phone but his son held a special attachment to cell phones and would carry them around like a security blanket. He’d walk around the play ground pretending to talk to someone (more like babbled but yeah) So yeah, he regressed. I would to. Instead of trying to keep his life normal, he removed him and the girlfriend began to watch him. It was upsetting to me because it felt like the worst thing to do.

    So it stands to reason that as things change for Zavier and around the house. She’ll have accidents. And even if it has nothing to do with outside changes, inside changes (her growing and conquering a new milestone) can also cause them.

    I guess this is my very long winded way of saying “It’s not your fault. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know it’s frustrating. Hang in there. It too shall pass.” ((Hugs))

    • Mama Kalila says:

      Thanks! I knew about the whole regression thing… and I try to keep that in mind, try to remind myself. Thankfully Kalila is not one who wants to go back into diapers, but we do need to handle these days differently than we are. Which was more the point of this. I know the accidents are not her fault… but I can (or should) be able to control how I react. Not just to that but to the other things as well.

  3. Salma says:

    I agree with DeltaFlute…and Kalila is so young really, she will get it (on her own time). My kids were a year and a half apart and it was a disaster…years later, I’m laughing about it.

    Don’t be hard on yourself or her.

    • Mama Kalila says:

      Thanks. I prob shouldn’t have combined the two topics because it isn’t just the pt that I’m having trouble with patience with.. just happened to be in mind at the moment cause it had just happened lol. I’ve been doing a lot better with that lately too. Its just in general. And I’m trying… I know she’s gonna get the pt down, she’s already doing great. I’m very proud of her over how well she is doing even when this happens lol. Now the fits and everything else.. I’ll be happy when we get past that lol.

  4. kim says:

    well like i said in other responses, my kids are all far from perfect and neither am I!. they all act up etc. I also am not the best at handling discipline. some days i am calm and reasonable and other times i flip out too and scream and pull my hair out.

    • Mama Kalila says:

      Yeah I don’t expect mine to be perfect… or myself either for that matter. I just think I could do a little better. I don’t like losing it and yelling at my daughter. I just don’t. I think I could handle things better. So I’m working on it.

  5. Katharine says:

    working on things really helps! ok that sounds lame..but..i mean it! haha!

    I used to stress and freak out about things really easily…until I was pregnant with Cole and stressing caused physical pain (cramping). I had to learn to calm myself down…and it kind of helped all the way around. But still, things get to you…and its hard not to take it out on those around you

    Whatever you set your mind to you can do:)

  6. Steph says:

    I totally get the needing to be more patient thing. Especially recently I’ve begun to lose my patience much more quickly. It’s usually directly related to the other big situation in my life right now, and I’m trying hard to keep that from influencing them in any way so I really need to work on this situation more.

    But let me share with you my technique for calming myself down when there’s a disaster. First of all, this doesn’t work in every situation. If we’re just talking about disrespect or arguing with me (both things Kairi’s awesome at and Alex rarely does), I usually just end up quoting scripture at her and us talking about it how it means that it makes God happy when we obey and respect our parents and how we do that. But my biggest technique for messes, things destroyed, fits, etc., is to go grab my camera. I’m totally serious here. Of course this means that I have a million pictures (ok, so I’m at least up to the 10s of thousands 😉 ), but it also gives me some time to have perspective. I seriously don’t talk even. I grab the camera and start taking pictures. It does a few things for me. 1) It helps me remember later that even in the worst of it, there are things to make me smile. 2) It helps me focus on something other than the problem while still not leaving the child in the middle of the situation by themselves. 3) If the problem is a fit, before long the kid is usually distracted enough to start wanting their picture taken and to stop screaming. And then after I’m done with the photosession, I calmly talk to the kids about it. Of course it doesn’t always work. I don’t always turn to my camera first. I still mess up. But it does help when I remember to.

    You’re a great mom, girl. Don’t beat yourself up when you mess up, but of course you can always learn to do better — we all can. 🙂

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