Facebook and junk

Yeah I know I never post here anymore.  Honestly I have no desire too lately.  I don’t know if that’ll change or not anytime soon…  Or ever.  But this is way too long for a Facebook post (and it isn’t just one person and I don’t know entirely who all is involved so directly messaging them is not going to work) so I’m doing it this way.  Forgive me if I ramble here,  there’s several issues tumbling around in my head and I’m a bit all over the place. 

So I’m getting some slack over Facebook posts again.  

First off,  I did not intend to come out on Facebook.  Ever really.  I came out to Jas.  I came out to a few other people I trust.  Despite posting a lot on Facebook,  I really don’t like attention overall.  Shy.  Introverted.  It may be 100% easier for me to talk online, but still.  Beyond sharing articles or memes that catch my attention for one reason or another or the crazy things that happen in our lives (mostly because I’m alone with kids all lol) it just isn’t going to happen.  At the same time I didn’t want to out right hide it anymore either.  That shit causes issues and has for me,  I can’t do that anymore.  

So yes I posted an article here and there when they came up over situations going on. I share jokes from those pages a lot,  because I share jokes (ESP puns)  all the fucking time no matter what page they’re on.  A few people caught on pretty fast just from that,  which was fine…  And it would have stayed there but for a specific situation this summer.  

I can’t/won’t go into details,  but a friend needed help and outing myself was the easiest way to do it.  By that point I didn’t care as much.  So yes I posted more and was more open. Put it on my profile.  Life continued,  the situation sorted itself out of sorts.  By the time Bi Pride day and Coming out day came around I didn’t think twice about posting a couple things and then moved on.  

Maybe I should have made a full post on it and explained,  but I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.  I knew a few people wouldn’t like it,  but I didn’t think it was going to be this big of a fucking issue.  

So for anyone “concerned”.

Yes I am bisexual.  

Don’t worry about my marriage.  Jason and I are great.  He’s an amazing and supportive husband.  I’m not going to cheat on him.  I don’t fucking do that.  I hate cheating.  I hate lying.  Repeating I. Hate. Lying.  Won’t leave him either.  He’s stuck with me.  

No I’m not going to completely stop liking or sharing posts if they’re something I…  Like… Or if I think they say something that needs saying.  Or are about an issue that is important to me.  Just because you’re tired of hearing about it or don’t agree doesn’t mean it isn’t important to someone else.  

Keep in mind I’m not actually sharing 99% of those posts.  If it’s public and I like it,  the post will show up in your feed.  I can’t control that.  You can.  I can’t.  I’ve tried.  

On that note,  I am here at home 90% of the time.  I have horrible horrible anxiety around people and phone calls.  There’s only so much I can do with this shit.  I have sent emails,  I have made calls,  I try to go out when there are protests (not that I always make it) so assuming that I just sit behind a computer and complain (yes that’s been said too) is insulting on top of being bull shit..  But sharing the info can be helpful to a point.  And…  It’s my page.  I’m not going to other people’s and posting shit (which has also happened on mine).  I’m not telling anyone else what to post,  even when I disagree with it.  If it’s someone I think will have a reasonable discussion I may comment..  Because I have had some great conversations with friends that disagree on stuff…  But others I just ignore.  It isn’t that hard.  I will admit I’m floored by what a few people have said or posted lately,  the same way they are by me.. But I’m trying hard to stay polite.  I would like the same respect.  

How we raise our kids is up to me and Jas. I am,  always will be up for recieving advice..  But our kids have been,  and will continue to be,  raised in a tolerant household.  I love my kids.  End of discussion. 

If you have an issue with me,  or a question about me,  or whatever…  Come to me.  Trust me anyone else that would know me well enough to answer,  other than maybe Jas,  will tell you to anyway.  

As crazy as the last few years have been,  I have no regrets over coming out.  That it took so long yes.  Over all the hel I went through before yes.  But not over this.  Jas and I are closer than ever.  Mental health wise I’m doing a fuck ton better.  Going back in the closet is a non option.  

If anyone doesn’t like that, too bad.  You don’t have to like me.  I’m completely OK with that.  I’m not going to apologise for being myself.  I’m not going to try to be someone else.  

One thought on “Facebook and junk

  1. Rae says:

    ::hugs:: I’m sorry that you’ve been dealing with unsupportive people. Being confident in yourself is huge, and I hope that it brings even more joy and hope.

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